Dark Humor INC.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, "Man, you're such a Cheetah!" and they laugh.

I used to live on the 13th floor but have just moved up to the 14th floor But that's another storey.

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies is the main reason I have trust issues. X(

If steroids are illegal for athletes, then Photoshop should be illegal for models.

I came, I saw. I cleared the browser history.

Ordered 4 drinks at McDonald's so they wouldn't think all 50 chicken nuggets were for me.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

if karma doesn't hit you i will

Twinkle twinkle little star, I wanna hit you with my car. Throw you off a cliff so high, hope you break your neck and die.

HIStory: Because HERstory would just be gossip.

If teachers have substitutes why can't I?

Zombies eat brains, you're safe.

Apparently I skipped the part in puberty where I get really attractive.

At least gravity is attracted to me.