Dark Humor INC.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

I'm like 25% funny and 85% bad at math

my motto is “if it takes more than 5 minutes to cook i’d rather starve"

Teacher: Why are you at school so early?
Kid: My mom told me to go to hell.

Who remembers going on the computer just to go on paint and space pinball??

Adele and Taylor Swift are same age yet one has a child & one is mentally stuck in middle school.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

"Give Me Everything Tonight", sang Adele, as she walked into the Burger King.

disney channel is like that one close friend you had when you were younger that grew up to be an asshole

who cares if school doesn’t teach us how to raise a family or get a job like at least i can find the area of a triangle.

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

I just can't take this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you're coming to my room